Stop

I love this idea of a blog. Not that anyone else will know about it, but I have always found writing a release for me! And currently I am looking for "releases"....
I don't know what has changed the last couple of weeks, but I am NOT myself! I am yearning for more...something. I am HAPPILY married, so that is not what I am "looking" for. But I do think that my kids are the center of my searching....the reality of it is setting in. I am a mother of 4, only 31...but what do I give to my children.
Myself...day in and out, attention, love, knowledge, silliness...
What will this all mean to them someday? Will they carry on where I left off? I remember my childhood VERY fondly, but I do things very different than my parents did. I miss having the carefree laugh of a 15 year old, I miss enjoying just a sunny day...not worrying about the little things....I remember being curious...NOW I seem to be so wrapped up in the miniature non- important things that shouldn't matter!
I LOVE my children, and forget that not all of them are not from me-genetically, but they are from and in my heart, and I never knew I could feel this way 5 times over! They are such individuals, yet they do so many of the same things, it simple does AWE me everyday!

Our oldest son has been having problems lately, and now we are debating what our next step should be! We had him evaluated last year after a failed attempt into public school, EVERYONE said that he had ADHD with Tourettes. Let me tell you first hand though that this child is like a ROLLER COASTER....I will touch more on this again!