Medical Terminology

Diar-ebes

Brandon was playing snake wrangler. He had the snake cornered, behind the treadmill and the baby cradle.

This snake was no match for Wrangler B-Man.

After viewing his capture through the Kaliedescope, he proclamied:
"That snake has DIAREBES"

"What?"

"He has DIAREBES...I mean Diabetes."

A diabetic snake with diarrhea?
What has the world come to??

Computer

We only have ONE computer in our house. I know, ONE! Hard to believe.
Well there is ONE person who frequents the computer quite often. And there are little munchkins that love to play computer as well, but they have to use the computer when not in use (usually between 2-6 AM). They beg, they barter, they plead...and sometimes they get their way.
When I finally gifted a certain 5 year old, she couldn't get to the computer fast enough. She knows what to do: The games to find! How to log in to BrainPop Jr. She likes Safari browser, I prefer Firefox. You know...the basics! Stuff I knew when I was 5- I am sure!
So she was given her time, and about 10 minutes later: "SNACK TIME" was announced. She arrived promptly at the table. (My girl loves food!)
I saw my opportunity, after passing out snack--to just check my email real quick...
I snuck out of the kitchen, and as I sat down at the desk, I heard from the kitchen:
"MOM...Don't get on THAT computer!!!"

Not a threat

We were out shopping for a new pair of flip flops for Gabi, since her new ones this season, have already broken. Will asked if he could get a new pair of flip flops, but I reminded him that he already had a pair--on his feet--that were new(ish). "But" I said and now regret, "I was going to look for a new pair of "crocs" for you, since your other ones have a hole in the bottom of them." He instantly lights up, and starts scanning the aisles. I start scanning too, wondering WHY I spoke before I checked out the selection.
They only had 1 type of croc and it was Spiderman
(HOUSE RULE #1,287, No Character Shoes). "Mom, I can just have these..." "What is our rule buddy?" ~Groans~ "But mom, I NEED new crocs, and I can just have these!!" "Will, I will look at the other stores later this week, but I am not buying those crocs!" "Well, can we go to Wal Mart when we get home, and if they don't have them, then can we go to grandma's Wal-Mart?" **THIS is why I shouldn't have said ANYTHING!**I now remember**

"Um, no, we will not be able to go to our Wal-Mart, or grandma's Wal-Mart...not today."
"But MOM I NEED new crocs, maybe we could just go there really quick, we will run in, it will take us 3 minutes, and then we will get the shoes!"
"Well, not today buddy"
"BUT MOM, we NEED to."
****Remember that I brought this on myself, I opened my mouth to suggest that he is getting something new, without checking out the situation******

"Will, it is not going to work for us today! But I will keep looking for crocs for you. Now, you need to let it go. Is this going to be a problem?
Is this ALL I am going to hear about for the rest of the day??"

"NO! Not if you let me get the shoes."

(That sounded kinda like a threat).

A cold one.

One morning as we were running late, a certain child was throwing a HUGE fit over a toy, and I was trying to finish up breakfast for the three others, Isa said, "Mom, can I have a drink?"

Brandon pipes up, "Yeah, I am thirsty, too!"

Me:"You know, I am thirsty, TOO. I could go for something nice and cold, too--maybe over ice! That sounds good RIGHT now!"

I turn to deal with the other child, who is still upset and throwing a fit. When I turn back around, Brandon is getting into the freezer, and Isa is pouring me cold water from a pitcher.

"WHAT are you guys doing??" I had pretty much forgotten what I had requested earlier.

"Getting you something cold, with ICE!"

Subtle Sweetheart

Gabi was coloring and coloring, and wouldn't let me see.
GABI: Mom, I am just coloring a picture for daddy's birthday (in September)!

MOM: Oh, that is sweet!

GABI: How do you spell "Mother's Day"?